I’ve noticed that the first month I started this new venture it was so easy finding fun little stories to write. Everything new. All those drawings. All those memories. It does get harder after that first enthusiasm wanes a bit. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean enthusiasm for The White Cabinet. We are going strong. But friends have emailed how much they enjoy the blog. Oy vey! The pressure! The blog… How do I keep this going so people still want to read it? And then a fortunate meeting occurred. I was at my friend Sara’s house. She has one of the original drawings and I came to photograph it. Her friend Vicki was there and told me she loved the blog. I expressed my worry. Her response really revitalized me. She said that the blogs she loved were those that were inspiring. I realized that, while I had been thinking that Hilda’s Blog was about the business and the drawings, it was also about deeper more personal feelings that could be called inspiring.
I’m an only child. We were a close knit trio. Dad died 25 years ago and Mom lived almost 19 years longer. When she died there was an incredible sense of loss that I really can’t put into words. If you’re lucky enough to have had a loving mother, then you know what I mean. Life goes on. My life did in a big way. I got married for the first time at age 49! I still missed her so. But when I came upon this idea of showing her work, that stopped. In the Jewish tradition, on the anniversary of a death, you light a Yahrzeit candle. In the past, every year I had anticipated that date weeks in advance. But this year was different. I forgot about it completely. I didn’t think about that day 6 years before and what went on. I didn’t think about the memorial service or the scattering of the ashes. I forgot to get the candle. I realized it was a sign that I was finally focusing on her life instead. There was, after all, just one day of her death, but almost 91 years of her life.
Everyone reacts to a death in different ways. We have to mourn, but after a time, it’s just exhausting. I am so grateful that I found this outlet and THANK YOU HILDA for being such a creative person! I truly do hope that, along with the enjoyment of the drawings, this also encourages others in the same boat to find their “White Cabinet”.